EPISODE 101 - ASK THE KARDASIMS

Journeys of self discovery: So watermelon or so not watermelon

Who's the Smartest?:

"What can you hold in your right hand, but never in your left hand?"

Podcasts - so watermelon or so not watermelon

Plumbobs, So Watermelon or So Not Watermelon?

GUYS I got footage from an alternate universe where Khloe did the Rose collab, and in this universe she asked Kim to help her in promotion (kinda like the Kylie's Rocks video) here is what it looks like:

Who's the smartest?

Saudade

(Here's a hint: Lana del Rey - Video Games)

hello dearest Kardasims, i just wanna say how all of you are if 1) Khloe's body is founded and alive 2)Kim is no longer posses and founded If so then i just wanna apologise to Khloe but she no longer deserves the title survivor but is still a fighter and should learn from Kourtney to ignore things especially leave Kim possessed, that bitch has ruined everyones live with her stupid glow glow glow, i know this from her cause i saw Kim turning and killing a human by spraying the "cutted up orange is a fruit salad perfume". You may be wondering why i was there, well long story short i was spying on her "experiments" so i could report them to the police. I also have been wondering if Lady Sim Gaga is also going to appear in the next few episodes cause it's been almost 3 or 2 years of her not appearing on simgmproductions. That's all i have to say and i hope you Khloe recover from this possession trauma. Lots of love❤️💛💙💚💜. #thanKyouaIMee #kimisastupidflopbusinesswomanstupidfuckingbitchgotofuckinghellyouflop #bootybootypopjuiceandnononobestbrands #Khloe #Kourtney #cupkakke #jiafei

So watermelon or so not watermelon: Kanye saving Taylor by thanking beyoncé

Emojis - so watermelon or so not watermelon

Getting pregnant with episode 101 - so watermelon or so not watermelon?

Gas pumps - so watermelon or so not watermelon?

Truck drivers - so watermelon or so not watermelon?

Hi Kardasims! Hope you are all having a wonderful week because I'm sure as hell not. I have a bone to pick with KUM or Aimee or whatever her name is. I bought some of the GlowGlowGlow Energy drink for my caffeine-addicted friend. It was the WORST idea EVER. She was fine at first, but then her eyes turned green, she got scales everywhere. She then morphed into a GLOWZILLA and ate our Simlish teacher. She then turned so big the school clasped and all the pipes burst. I didn't know what to do, so I brought out my NoNoNo x BootyBootyPopJuice anti-Glow and started spraying it. But I was too late. The Glowzilla walked towards the Simdianapolis stadium and attacked the crowd at the Sim Eras Tour. Taylor was rushed off the stage and the concert was ruined. The only reason the Glowzilla was stopped is because I threw my NoNoNo x BootyBootyPopJuice anti-Glow Spray into its mouth. My friend is in the hospital in critical condition and the rest of the SimEras tour concerts in Simdianapolis are canceled, and I was supposed to go! Screw you KUM and thank you to Kourtney for the NoNoNo x BootyBootyPopJuice anti-Glow Spray, because its the only reason im alive.

PS: My lawyers are suing GlowGlowGlow and investigating the ligitamency of GlowGlowGlow.gov

Love Ya Kourtney and Khloe!

Hello to the unbothered queen Kourtney, the fighter and survivor and host of this podcast Khloe. Not forgetting the sick and demented KHEHM! I was seating one time with my family watching TV when an add about the Glow Glow Glow electric car came on for 10 billion dollars. I woke up the next day and went to the dealership and bought the car. I was excited and started driving home, but before that I spent two weeks seating in the car reading the seven 450 page textbooks on how to drive the car. I went through every detail until I was confident and boy was I wrong. I started driving and I immediately lost control of the car, it started driving itself destroying everything that's on the way killing pets and innocent sims on the road. I tried to get out but I was looked in and I could not break the windows, the car started flying until it landed on a desert, it finally let me out aggresively, when I looked infront of me I saw a huge building with Glow Glow Glow written on it, I was taken by some scary looking men into Khehm's office where Khehm told me that I am now part of the glow glow glow test subjects. She told me that they would take my organs to make the new glow glow glow organ juice, I was terrified. I remembered that in the car outside there is a no no no ultra black box pro max ultimate, I sneaked out and to car found the box and got inside, I was immediately transported to my house where I am now safe. Please do not buy the glow glow glow electric car, it is plot by Khehm to lure people to her factory and harvest their organs for this new glow glow glow organ juice. Khehm, you are a disgusting human being. Thank you Kourtney for saving my life. Love you Khloe and Kourtney. Go and die Khehm.

Hello Kardasims sisters and happy 101! I have a word for your Kourtney’s Who’s the smartest segment. The word is

Phosphophyllite (fahss-foh-FYL-ight

Kim, we are coming for you.

I can't believe that GLO GLO GLO's reach has made it to sim South Africa. An enormous glowing egg was spotted near our local hospital, and shortly it hatched. The fluids within the egg spilled everywhere, and the hospital was devastated. My sister was on the verge of death, but your doings have sadly killed her, so I thought the fluid from your disgraceful product has led to an evolution and immunity from your products; we have become perfect hybrids of the many creatures used to create the egg, with game-changing abilities. My sister is alive, but she was never the same after the incident. She hasn't spoken since, but the globeast and her are yelepathically connected. Kim,Kim  our Army (Glo-Roachstroyers) is coming for you, and we are coming for blood. Kourtney & Khloe, prepare to mourn your sister's death!

The middle one is Kourtney the left one is Khloé and the right one is Kim ❤️❤️❤️

✨ Hello Kardasim Sisters, ✨

I am Athena Jones, a beginner queen who recently got a transfer as a Manager from Pizza Pizza Pizza in the Sim Angelas Location to a Burgers Burgers Burgers chain within the same city. Regarding the ban of you 3 in Burgers Burgers Burgers I have appealed to the Food Food Food Company, which has now approved, We now serve Khloe and Kourtney as a customer of Burgers, Burgers, Burgers.

To specify the uplifting of the ban, Khloe has the freedom and rights to serve as a customer, while Kourtney has a few restrictions, but that will change in a matter of time. Kim on the other hand will not be served permanently, including her assistants if the assistants make an order for Kim (Kourtney and Khloe are included in this but I think they don't care about Kim). Kim's assistants can only order if they're ordering for themselves, not Kim (And yes, we have a Lie Detector). Kourtney and Khloe, make sure you keep an eye out for Kim because she might treat her assistants like shit after ordering their food so that we can avoid having another V.A.N.I.S.H victim again.

The reason I made this statement public is not to inform you 3 and the public, but to announce a promo that we are having. We are proposing a free meal for each purchase of No No No and/or Booty Booty Pop Juice for the purchase of $100,000 so that everyone is included. The free meal we are planning to propose is the Kardasim Meal, which includes a Jumbo Size Chicken Garden Salad with free will to choose whatever dressing you like, with a Fruit Soda of your choice, and 3 to 5 items of Booty Booty Pop Juice as a Freebie. It is only available through the USimA and Burgers Burgers Burgers. Pizza Pizza Pizza, Tacos Tacos Tacos, Ice Cream Ice Cream Ice Cream, and other Food Food Food Chains are not included but is planning to include the Kardasim Meal Promo sooner or later.

✨ I hope that this promo is disclosed to you 2 and we hope that the meal plan could be finalized because the food i'd said was proposed. Hope this announcement has reached out to you celebrate our decision to uplift the ban of you 2. Also, Congrats to 100 Episodes, Cheers to 150 or 200 more. ✨

Sincerely,

Athena Jones

Hey Kardasim sisters, you two are super watermelon! Not that stupid Kim bitch that sells Glow Glow Glow stuff that made my baby sister turn to dust. Chloe and Kourtney are so watermelon. If you guys had a dream house, what would it be and why? Would you choose mansions or just a cottage?

P.S. I love Chloe’s Booty Booty Pop Juice

Our unofficial discord server’s custom emojis, So Watermelon or So Not Watermelon (joke post)

1st and 3rd emoji’s drawn by dear NoNoGlow

Mariah SimCarey announcing it’s time - so watermelon or so not watermelon

Hi sisters! It’s Nathan, from the original post about the No No No Blackest Box! I’ve been doing well since the incident but unfortunately my cat died (irl rip Felix). He had a great life and everyone he knew loved him so much:)

I wanted to write today to let Kourtney know that I ordered the No No No pet cemetery box, thinking it would be a great final resting place for my son! I also bought the Glow Glow Glow funeral bagpipe CD and Kim still found a way to make a CD blow up so thats NOT what I’ll be talking about today.

I’ve just put him in there and was about to bury him, but then I started hearing meowing come from the box !! I knew it was too good to be true but I looked inside anyways and to my surprise, I open the box and I see my baby boy as a KITTEN!!! Kourtney THANK you so much but also I have a feeling you weren’t aware that this is what your product can do. You’ve changed my life. Khloe and KHEM pale in comparison to your grace and wisdom.

PS he has red eyes and I also keep finding dead animals and sometimes fingers under my bed but he’s alive and that’s all that matters ❤️❤️ #NONONO #MakeSimericaNOAgain #Catdied #Heactuallyisdeadirlripfelix

#kockroachesaregross

Turkey Day, so watermelon or so not watermelon?

are you continuing Diva Power?

Hi sisters, love u Kourtney and the other background characters. Anyway, this is for all the sisters, if you where in the movie inside out, what emotions would you be?

I think Kourtney would be Ennui cause my girl just doesn't give an F.

Khloe would be disgust cause she wants perfection and she's cute.

As for Kim, maybe Envy cause she wishes to reach the heights of booty booty pop juice, but she knows she's far by a milestone.

Love you Kourtney😘. I guess I love u too Kim and khloe 😒.

Hello hello hellooo to the most supermelon sisterssss!! (exclamation point exclamation point)

My name is Samuelson Bootybootyglownovich

I just want to say I have listened all of your episodes over 5 times, thats almost 500 episodes!!

I wish I discovered you since you started, but I found about your exquisite and fighter and survivor voices this year!! I love all 3 of you!

Booty booty pop juice is the best fighter and survivor drink in the world! I just tried the Booty booty pop juice anger management diamond version, and I'm getting better .. Khloe I'm with tears in my eyes, knowing that I have become a better person thanks to you, eternal fighter

Glow Glow Glow is the best pesticide and biochemical cream and spray, it has helped me to kill all the stupid bitches that criticize me because I listen to your podcast.

and the No No No full milky way tour for a price of 3.5 billion dollars, I had to sell everything I had, Im homeless now but I Had the best experience in my whole life!!!

Khloe: The original fighter and survivor and the image of such an inspirational brand.

Kim: The delusional cry baby stupid bitch bio monster flop flop flop.

Kourtney: The superior unbothered queen who taught me all my social skills, every time someone says anything to me, im like NO!

By the way, Im Stacy Nancy Simlouis cousing, and Im devastated for what happeneed to her at the Glow Glo Glow company... I hope Khloe and Kourtney.. im sorry, I meant Chloe with a "C" and Kourtina can find a way to shut Kim's dangerous and super mega ultra not so watermelon company.

Love you from El Salvador, I adore you sisters (except for the glow glow glow monster, K H E M!, and no, dont launch the GGG monster edition) XO XO

Khloe you stupid bitch!😡 I was excersicing to get my revenge body to get back on my stupid cheating husband and as I was following your workout video titled "How to get an ass that is bigger than Khem's in 3 days" and was jumping the rope for those 55 minutes l tore two ligaments in my knee! It hurts so bad oh my god!!!!! Luckily I had some leftover Glow Glow Glow "Salad salad salad secret sexy salad 2024 pink glitter lawyer limited edition sauce". I drank the whole thing and my knee is working perfectly again! It doesn't hurt at all anymore and my ass is huge, shiny and glittery. From now on, Khem and Kourtney are my favourite! They are much better than your anger issues plastic ass could ever be! #fakekockroach #NOTafighterandasurvivor #KhemGlowGlowGlow

Hello Kardasim sisters! My name is Kellen and I would like to thank the most watermelon sister, and the true host of this podcast, Khem. I have very fair skin so I decided to use the new Glow Glow Glow SPF 1000 to protect my skin, I read the instructions; all 526 pages with my official Glow Glow Glow magnifying glass that I paid for only $700, and put it on my skin and was ready to go outside. When I went outside, my skin started turning green, but I decided to stay out… when the sun was at its brightest, my skin turned more green and wrinkled until I turned into a swamp monster! I was ready to ruin my whole town and everyone here was afraid! My friend had some NASTY booty booty pop juice and made me taste it. I drank some and it made me throw up so bad that I returned back to my normal original form. However, after that me and my friend noticed that my pale skin wasn’t burned! So thank you Khem for making a watermelon product that works to protect our skin <3

Hey Kardasims!

Happy 101! I was just wondering if the three of you could reenact your first video together "Soda Drama" live on this podcast. Maybe you could give it a twist like switching roles or something. This could even be a more effective therapy session for the three of you.

Also, would all of you ever consider having a Sim-Lifetime Movie ot even a Sim-Broadway Musical of The Kardasims? If so, what would it be all about and who would you pick to play your roles with real talent?

Stay watermelon Kool Kourtney, Klever Kim, and Kranky Khloé. : )

What are your thoughts on bad music? Musicians if you can call them that like De Nicki Minaj, Taylor, Madonna and Miley Cyrus are constantly putting out songs with uninspired lyrics and bad beats. It is really sad I think we need the Kardasims to put out an album to save pop music. Also do we need to thank Beyonce for your podcast before she gets rid of us like she did to SIA? Allegedly that is...

everyone knows this answer but you guys have to answer it besides kourtney, kourtney knows this. if you are trapped in a room, what do you do. 🍉 kourtney if they don’t know or got the wrong answer, tell them

In honor of my audio submission getting in, here is the subtitle video I included with when I emailed Boss and Co! (PS: This contains the entire thing I sent them with instructions, you can see some special cut out content here!)

Hello the kardasims!! What's one thing that can instantly make your day better?

Who's the smartest : Coprophagy

That's So Watermelon Topics:

Diddy's List

Thanking Simyonce to save themselves

Semen

Lightbulbs

Sim Direction

Brat SimSummer

Kris' Old Boyfriends and Spouces

Superstitions

So Watermelon, or So Not Watermelon?

Hi yall, in name of the podcast reaching an all time high from Episode 100, I wanna share again our special unofficial fan SimGM Discord server! So if you wanna look for other fellow fans to talk about their videos or podcast, feel free to join in on the fun!

https://discord.gg/gEqMX32msW

Hi from South SimAfrica to the TRUE OG Fighter and Survivor, The Kueen of Kockroaches - Khloe, The unbothered queen and mini monopoly business woman Kourtney and Kehm the delulu biochemist. long time listener and first time commenter.

I just wanna say that I've noticed a trend of booty booty pop juice fixing glow glow glow mistakes and as a chemical engineer with your permission khloe (hopefully you're a partner now), i would like to inspect BBPJ and see if i can make a serum from it that could potentially cure diseases and computer viruses. Love ya😘

ps, kehm... delulu is NAWT the solulu❤️

#BoycottGlowGlowGlow #Justice4StacyNancy

Having an ugly: so watermelon or so not watermelon 🍉

The Tortured Poets Department: so watermelon or so not watermelon 🍉

Glowzilla: so watermelon or so not watermelon 🍉

Fruit salad with just 1 fruit: so watermelon or so not watermelon 🍉

Naming your children with directions: so watermelon or so not watermelon 🍉

Hello Kardasims and Congrats on finally kissing 100!

I recently brought Kris' "Hi Honey!" honey. After my first spoonful, my ass doubled in size and a production company called about giving me my own reality show. They were being cheap, however, and only offered $50 million. Luckily though, their headquarters are a 15 minute subway ride away, so I'm taking my new private jet there to negotiate a higher salary. That being said, I was wondering if we could get Kris on the line. I wanted to ask her what the inspiration behind this brilliant product was, and how she was able to use you guys' trauma to her own advantage once again.

Thank you, and here's to 100 more amazing episodes!

Lemonade / lemonade stands, so watermelon or so not watermelon?

Glow Glow Glow Glasses Turned Me Into a Twitching Cyclops with a third eye on my ass  – Help Needed NOW!

Dear Kim,the CEO of vision loss and nightmare products,

I am a new listener to the podcast and before you judge me I didn’t know about the glow glow glow hell products until recently from one of my co workers recommendations . I don't even know where to begin, I bought the new glow glow glow super duper orange glasses 2.0 to improve my eyesight and make me “ see things no one could “ Well, you got that part right—I can barely see anything from my left eye !

I followed your "totally safe" instructions that came with the glasses and the Glow Glow Glow Eye Shampoo (first of all, eye shampoo?! Who in their right mind thought washing your EYES was a good idea?!),Anways I went along with it  because I always made sure to follow the instructions of every product I buy and I thought, "What could possibly go wrong?" Well, I should've known better because these instructions were straight-up INSANE They said:

    1.    Remove your current personality and align your soul with the glow (Kim, what the hell does that even mean?!)

2.    Apply one drop of Glow Glow Glow Eye Shampoo to each eye while humming "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."

    3 .     Keep eyes open for at least 15 minutes. If stinging occurs, "embrace the glow."

   4.    Rub your temples in a counterclockwise motion, then swiftly reverse the motion while chanting "Kim is so watermelon “

    5 . Go outside and stare at the bright sun with the glasses on for exactly 7 hours and 34.5 minutes—NOT A SECOND LESS—or, and I quote, **"mild side effects" may occur.

    6 :   Repeat twice a day for maximum results.

What kind of maniac thought this was a good idea, Kim?! Against all better judgment, I followed these insane instructions to the letter, because I thought, "Hey, maybe my eyes will look cool and glowy like yours."

So, of course, I did it all. After step 3 my eyes started burning like someone set fire to my retinas, but I kept going. By the time I got to step 5, I was practically blind in my left eye and my right eye? It's turned a bright, horrifying shade of orange, twitching uncontrollably like it's possessed by the devil himself. I look like a broken jack-o'-lantern, Kim! I'm scaring small children, my dog won't even look me in the face anymore .

So there I am, sitting in the bathroom with bubbles pouring out of my eyes, trying to keep them open while my vision is turning into some kind of acid trip. And guess what? It didn't just ruin my eyes—it gave me a THIRD EYE. On my ASS, Kim!

Yes, Kim, you've officially cursed me with butt vision. I have to live with the fact that I can now see out of my ass. Do you know how traumatizing it is to sit down and suddenly feel like I'm watching the world from a rear-view camera? I don't know if I'm supposed to wink with it or schedule an exorcism. This is not what I signed up for! How do you explain that, huh? I'm out here trying to function like a normal human being with an eyeball in my butt, and let me tell you, the view back there is not something I NEVER wanted to experience.

My wife walked in while I was bent over in front of the mirror trying to figure out if the butt-eye was blinking. Needless to say, she packed her bags and left me on the spot. She said, and I quote, "I can't be married to a man whose ass is watching me." She sent me divorce papers yesterday, and when I told her it was because of Glow Glow Glow, she just said, "That explains everything."

My boss fired me because my orange twitching eye was creeping out the clients, My family? They think I'm part of some government conspiracy and refuse to let me near the house, afraid I'll infect them with whatever curse you've put on me. My neighbors started to avoid me at all cost and put a A warming sign outside my house , the reactions from my friends? I don't have friends anymore, Kim. They all ran for the hills when I told them I have a twitchy orange eye and a butt-eye that I now have to moisturize. It's bad enough I'm going blind, but now I have to deal with butt-eye maintenance? I can't even sit down without worrying it's going to start blinking or, worse, develop pink eye. What am I supposed to do with that, Kim?

I went to the eye doctor a week ago and when she examined the eye on my ass she told me she's never seen anything like this before. In fact, she laughed at me  and kicked me out of her office and said, "You must've used one of those crazy ass glow glow glow  products." KIM, DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT IS? I'm a laughingstock, and it's all thanks to you and your demonic glasses.

So I did what any rational, ass-eyed man would do: I called your Glow Glow Glow customer service. And, shockingly, someone picked up! But the woman on the line? She was a whole new level of insane. She said,"Congratulations, now you can literally watch your back!" Are you kidding me, Kim? She then had the audacity to suggest I bedazzle the area to "make it pop" and "embrace my new rare vision With the new Glow Glow Glow Butt-Enhancing Mask to "balance out the energy flow" in my lower half. I don't need more energy flow, lady, I need a refund and therapy!

How am I supposed to go on dates? How am I supposed to have a life? I can't even go to the grocery store without people wondering why I'm wearing sunglasses inside while walking weird! , I'm writing this letter to demand that you pay for the damages you've caused me, both physical and emotional. You'll be hearing from my lawyers soon because I am suing you for every penny you have.

Khloe, Kourtney—I feel for you both. How you manage to stay sane with this maniac as a sister is beyond me. I can only imagine the therapy bills you both must have racked up over the years. Khloe, I've heard good things about your booty booty pop juice , so kudos for that. And Kourtney, you're always a queen in my eyes (well, in my one functioning orange twitchy eye . )

As for you Kim , you're a stupid bitch, and I hope you get your own third eye on your face so you can see what you've done to me. I'll never forgive you for this. Go to hell and take your orange glasses and eye-shampoo with you.

Consider this a formal warning, Kim. If I wake up with a fourth eye, I'm coming for you.

Lots of hate for Kim 🐀🧪🤬, and lots of love for khloe and Kourtney 💚💙😚😁💛

Tristian from New Jersey 🙏

#kim_is_the_worst #dont_buy_glow_glow_glow #ineed_my_eyes_back

Hello Kourtney. Hello Kim. How is Khloe acting today? Has she already fucked up someone's name?

I've got a bone to pick with Khloe. I recently adopted 2 gerbil cats two fortnights ago. My GGG supply ran out so I recently tried the Booty Booty Pop Juice: SeafoodBGone for my crabs and now my beautiful baby gerbils won't recognize me! It's like they can sense the stupid bitch-ness from the Juice.

The only reason why Kim and Kourtney called you a fighter and survivor is because you brainwashed them into belittling themselves to build you up. Truly they are the REAL fighter and survivors since they've survived the bullshit you put them through. You gave Kim tenth degree burns(she survived), You missed an easy shot and got your sisters ate by a shark(they survived), and you put your sisters' lives in danger by forcing them to go on a road trip with you and lost their money, phones, and g wagon (PS bitch you can NAWT drive).

How dare you Mrs. Kardasim you had us all FOOLED. The Booty Booty Pop Juice had poisoned everyone's minds to believe you are the leader, when really you are just the sheep. I believe it's time the rightful host of the Kardasim Podcast, inventor of Watermelon, and successful businesswoman, Queen Kourtney step up with her lively jester Kim and her noble steed Sir Travis Landon Barker and banish Khloe to the realms of Vanish.

(PPS Khloe I use the pages of your book to wipe my ass)

Who's the Smartest?

"I go in hard, come out soft, and am never the same. What am I?"

Box Dyes: So Watermelon or so not Watermelon?

Kim Has Officially Ruined My Life (And My Twin’s)

Dear Khloe, Kourtney (the real ones),and you too, Kim-Trashian),First of all, Khloe and Kourtney, you two are everything. I feel like you’re the only ones keeping that disaster of a family afloat. Now, let’s talk about why I’m writing to you instead of living my life like a normal person.

I used your “Total Body Shimmer Oil” because I wanted to shine like a Kardasim , right? Well, I got more than I bargained for. Now I look like I was dipped in liquid aluminum foil. People mistake me for a walking disco ball,I’m so shiny, people have started taking selfies in my reflection. A family mistook me for an art installation at a museum last weekend. Seagulls land on my shoulders because they think I’m some bronze statue in the park.Oh, and let’s not forget the boiling oil feel—my skin feels like it’s constantly sizzling under the sun. I’m convinced this “shimmer oil” is just baby oil mixed with mercury. I went to the beach and had to roll myself in the sand to avoid catching fire from the heat reflecting off my skin. Thanks a lot, Kimbecile, now I’m Nebraska’s local lighthouse. People are literally using me to navigate their boats at night.

As if my life wasn’t tragic enough, my twin sister Pixi wanted to avoid looking like she just crawled out of a grease pit, so she bought your No Shine Ever Powder. Kim, this powder has left her looking like she sucked the light out of the room. Her face is so matte, she’s a walking eclipse. I’m not exaggerating—there’s just a void where her face used to be. Light refuses to bounce off her. Taking a picture of her? Forget it. It’s like photographing a black hole.

We went to a club last night, and the DJ said, “Why is there a shadow dancing?” IT WAS HER, KIM. Pixi has been banned from every family photo, and children scream whenever she passes by. The girl hasn’t seen her reflection in weeks. Is she a vampire now? I don’t know! You literally made my sister invisible to see you sick twisted stupid bitch !

And another thing, Kim, you foolish, air-headed sparkle demon: your Glow Glow Glow packaging? Total scam! The label said “for all skin types,” but I’m pretty sure it was meant for robots or maybe those silver living statues at tourist attractions. I’m considering dousing myself in lighter fluid and setting myself on fire just to dull the shine. You’d probably love love that wouldn’t you ? Kim, you are Satan in designer heels We’re both a mess. I can’t even hug my twin without  her disappearing into the abyss! Do you understand how traumatic that is?

Now, we’re just two twins—one glowing like a radioactive disco ball and the other looking like the Grim Reaper’s shadow— our social lives have been ruined ! No one wants to date a woman whose face looks like a black abyss. And me? Well, let’s just say I’m single because no one wants to be with a girl who could literally set the bed on fire from overheating.

Anyway I have to go to buy some fire extinguishers before I spontaneously combust and Kim ?

if you’re reading this, just know I’m not done. I’m coming for you. Either you refund me or I’ll personally launch your products into the sun—where they belong. Kourtney and Khloe you two are so watermelon for not creating products like glow HELL glow . Lots of love from Nebraska 💖

Dear Professor Kimberly,

Since your last lecture at my univerSIMty about "ethical scamming" some of the fresh graduates actually started to follow on your path. However, many of them were failed and some were even admitted to jail for fraudulent behavior. May I know the true secret of your legendary business, aka Glow Glow Glow?

Also, has Khloe the self proclaimed true fighter and survivor come up with her business?

Girl, you can do do so much better and I wish you don't live behind Professor Kimberly's shadow and become a life-long parasite.

Lastly, I made a fanart of Boss for her special birthday (love you boss and the siblings too)... She is "the mastermind" behind glo glo glo and I'm afraid the so called host will sabotage yet another truthfulness storytale about the greatfulness of Professor Kimberly Kardasim.

Please spread the wisedom sentences and words to the entirity of the global earth xD

Love you Kardasims (including Khole, but partially)

I hope you have a great day and stay watermelon and symbolic

#ImFirst #KholeSux #GlowGlowGlowIsTheBest