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Hello to the Fighter and Survivor Khloe and the unbothered Queen Kourtney... oh, hi Kim. Or should I say KHEM?! This is my first time writing into the Kardasim podcast and I need help NOW.
My mom recently bought the Glow Glow Glow No-Sugar, No-Calorie, No-Carb, No-Fat Vitamin Tablets when she saw an ad of Kim claiming that it could reverse aging. Since I've listened to the Kardasim podcast since Episode 1, when I saw the package, I tried to warn her about Glow Glow Glow's dangerous products. I told her to instead buy the Booty Booty Pop Juice Vitamin Chewies, but she refused to listen to me.
She read all 10 instruction manuals, 4,873 pages each, travelled to El SimDorado and attended the 12 hour workshop at Kim's house to learn how to use the product. According to my mom, Kim specifically said that the tablets should be taken 3 times a day before meals. She also had her sign an NDA. Feeling confident, my mom began taking them, exactly as the instructions said, with her water. She seemed fine for a month but on the next full moon, SHE TRANSFORMED INTO A WEREGLOWOLF. She terrorised and wreaked havoc in the country. It's chaos out there. All the weapons that were made to use against the Glowzillas aren't working on her.
I bought the La-a La-a La-a (No No No in Arabic) Werewolf Containment Bunker box and tried to put my mother inside for her own safety multiple times but, whatever Kim put in her product made her too strong for it and she kept escaping the box.
I also decided to read over the instruction manuals because Kim has a tendency to purposely leave out very important details. In the very last page of the 10th book, written in code in invisible ink, it says 'Only to be consumed with orange soda'. HOW DARE YOU, KIM?! My mother is allergic to orange soda and prefers to drink water! That should've been the first thing customers read in your dumb instructions!
Khloe and Kourtney, can you send me Kim's address so I can beat her ass and slap her with a lawsuit for what she has done to my mother? For Kim, how do I return my mother back to normal, you stupid bitch? You ruined her life!!! You better watch out 'cause I'm coming for you!
Lots of Love to Kourtney and Khloe from Bahrain. #DownwithGlowGlowGlow
OnlySimFans: so watermelon or so not watermelon?
Who's the smartest?:
Cimex
Cimicide
Hey girls! Love you all so much (some more than others…) and I have been listening to the podcast since the first episode release! However, I wish this comment was more positive but I need answers… KIM I AM LOOKING AT YOU! My aunt purchased your glow glow glow anti-aging cream around 5 months ago and she happened to have been 3 months pregnant at the time. She read all 4 instruction manuals VERY carefully then felt the confidence to finally apply, immediately after application her face melted off (she’s recovered since). But that is NOT our only concern. 2 days ago she gave birth to a baby girl!! However this baby popped out with 3 arms, 1 leg, 7 eyes and a full set of adult teeth. NOWHERE does it say on the packaging or manual that pregnant women shouldn’t use the product, so will Kim please enlighten us on how the baby came out looking like this. It crawls on the ceiling and speaks fluent Mandarin at only 48 hours old. Not to mention the Illuminous neon green colour she emits. Give us answers Kim because we all know it’s your fault. Best believe we WILL be seeing you in the courtroom. Anyways I will carrying on supporting no no no and booty booty pop juice but shall BOYCOTT THE TRIPLE G!! Love you all x
Hi watermelon sisters! Oh and you too khloe. Ive been a fan since quarantine and found u guys soo funny. My question is for kim, how does it feel to have a more successful and better company than khloes booty booty flop juice or kourtneys no no no box. Also, when and will you add my queen lana del rey to ur podcast? Love you xx
Hiya super watermelon sisters. My question is for the host of the podcast Kim. The reason Kim is the host is because she has never been replaced by a guest on any segment. But khloe is still THE fighter and survivor and Kourtney is a queen (so plz don't fight besties). Anyway! Kim, is the conspiracy true that you and your sisters companies actually work together and combine profits? Kim causes damage with glow glow glow, BBPJ cures it and Nonono protects against it? If its true then that's so watermelon. Lots of love. X
Rating people’s appearances on a scale from one to ten without their knowledge or consent and then acting as the victim of manipulated evidence when called out, so watermelon or so not watermelon?
GREETINGS from Simdonesia to the Kardasim sisters, Kourtney, Khloe, and KHAEM who I might just have to call Karen due to her recent misconduct in my workplace.
I am a supervisor in the Los Simgeles branch of Burgers Burgers Burgers (you know, the one you guys were banned from) and two months ago Kim came here and asked for some orange salad. I immediately recognized her and POLITELY asked her to leave due to the lawsuit and she asked for my manager then threatened with unleashing the Glow Glow Glow Air Freshener if her request wasn’t fulfilled. Because I don’t want my workplace to be contaminated with nuclear I immediately seek my manager and she proceeds to ask the securities to escort Kim out. While Kim was struggling with them she let out an ugly crying WHYYYYYYYY and dropped the container of aforementioned Glow Glow Glow Air Freshener as she runs away. It broke and the formula immediately melts everything as it spreads through every crevices of my workplace. Me and my co-workers immediately escort the customers out but unfortunately my manager and the two securities were not fortunate enough as they were melted away due to the close contact with THAT godforsaken product. Because of this fiasco we are currently unemployed and I have to fly back to my country in Simdonesia. I am an international student studying law in Simerica and now I have nothing to pay my tuition with!!!
So, KIMREN, I am filing a lawsuit for your criminal behavior of unleashing bioweapon on my workplace! And don’t even think of winning this, I have contacted Annalise and she agreed to bring you DOWN since you broke the lawsuit term of stepping into Burgers Burgers Burgers at the first place!
Khloe and Kourtney, stay watermelon 😍😍😍 and nothing for you KEM 😡😡😡
30-minutes return policy with 29.5-minutes of confirmation time: so watermelon or so not watermelon?
Wearing long sleeves on hot days: so watermelon or so not watermelon?
Paintings: so watermelon or so not watermelon?
Air conditioners: so watermelon or so not watermelon?
FEEDBACK BY SOME FANS: Make words the main gimmick of Who's The Smartest again!
I've heard from other fellow fans that the riddles feel like sometimes just really common ones and/or some don't make sense with really awkward answers that don't have much pizzazz, as opposed to words that could have a fascinating learning experience or a more comedic outcome.
Personal Thoughts by me: (And only from me, my words don't reflect the rest of the audience's consensus nor do I expect us to have every opinion be mutual) As the original suggester of adding riddles, this saddens me since I also have to agree that some riddles just don't hit the spot. (I originally suggested riddles just to have some variety and spice in the segment as using random words didn't feel as special as topics in other segments, since the source of getting words didn't really feel like it came from much deliberate human participation except when its fan submitted in the forums). If we we're to have riddles, perhaps only rarely or every now and then and only if they're fan submitted and with an overwhelmingly positive score (I wouldn't know how'd that work out 🤷) I also thought about throwing trivia questions into the mix (and actually good ones cuz I know ones that are just guessing a number for an answer is really boring) about intriguing facts about the world/history/pop culture/etc. In fact I'm just gonna throw in one for you guys as a test to see if it lands anywhere, if it doesn't work out then oop, let's just settle for words TRIVIA QUESTION: What animal's milk is pink? (yes this is real) Answer:
.... .. .--. .--. --- .--. --- - .- -- ..- ...
Hii Kardasims, first off I'd like to say that Kim, you are such a smart, creative and beautiful person. You are the TRUE fighter and survivor and such an amazing buisness woman, I love your glow glow glow products and literally suffered throughout the pandemic without them, My question is for all the sisters- are you guys ever going back to hogwarts? If not, why??
Hey there Kardasims!!!
First, I love all three of you except Kim! And I hope that all three of you except Kim have a great rest of your day!
Second, I wanted to ask if you sisters would go to Animal sim crossing? It’s a private island and there’s a nice guy named Tom on the island!! It’s sooo watermelon 🍉
You guys would have a blast! Bye sistersss! #ExceptKim
F.E.A.R. (Feel Everything and Respect), so watermelon or so not watermelon?
<Reference to Episode 104 on the topic "bosses">
Or just fears in general if you want
Hi amazing sisters, well the two that matter ... Anyways I just want to say that Kim is a PSYCHOPATH, (but everyone already knows that). I have been having a hard time staying up because of work, college, and every day things. I've listened to the podcast and learned from episode 91, Kim was creating the glow glow glow coffee. I thought nothing of it and drank my regular coffee. When I was getting ready for work one day, I ate breakfast and drank my regular coffee. WHEN I NOTICED MY HOUSE WAS BROKEN INTO!! with glass shards on the kitchen floor! I also noticed my coffee tasted a bit funny kinda like.... orange soda flavor?🤮... I ran to my pantry and saw a BUNCH OF GLOW GLOW GLOW COFFEE replaced my REGULAR COFFEE! Also with a sticky note that said "your welcome(smiley face) K-" . .... Then everything went DARK! I woke up in a hospital bed and the doctors told me I HAD BEEN IN A COMA FOR 2 YEARS, EVER SINCE THAT 91st PODCAST CAME OUT!!!😡 I AM FURIOUS WITH YOU KIM, I KNOW IT WAS YOU!!! I WAS FIRED FROM MY JOB AND FAILED ALL MY CLASSES!!! How did Kim even know about my situation and how did she know where I live?! KIM NEEDS SERIOUS HELP! I was just another innocent victim. Love you Khloe and Kourtney💗 F*#k YOU KIM. [Update: I JUST NOW REALIZED MY CREDIT CARD WAS MAXED OUT WITH MY SCHOOL AND WORK MONEY FOR ALL 59 ORDERS OF THE GLOW GLOW GLOW COFFEE’S...SEE YOU IN COURT BI*@CH!😡].
Kim you need to stop selling glow glow glow, I tried your lip gloss and I have to read 250 steps, in the end I needed up in the hospital because my lips swelled up so bad and was in the hospital for a week, luckily they had some strawberry soda to help stop the burn feeling, and Kourtney I am living your no no no boxes and Kylie I am living booty booty pop juice products , kehm, I will be suing you, and you will hear from my lawyer when I am recovered, ps it's been 2 weeks
Hellooo my favorite delusional queens 💋 I just want to start by saying:
Khloe (DENTIST VISIT FIGHTER AND SURVIVOR QUEEN) — you are a fighter and survivor (yes A, not THEE), but you're very cool and it's nice of your big sister to share her podcast with you and the other.
Kugghgmmme — honestly I don't have any words... but lets just say - every time you open your mouth I think 50% of all braincells (yours included) in a 10 mile radius just evaporate and die.
And Kourtney… ohhh girl. Buckle up my NONONO Queen* because I need to speak on this real quick—
Kourtney; you are the human equivalent of a designer bag no one is allowed to touch. You open your mouth and it’s like… instant auditory Botox. My wrinkles? Gone. My GPA? Up. My credit score? Approved. The way you say no should be studied at Harvard. I honestly think if the economy ever crashes, we could rebuild it using nothing but your mad gambling skills and an eye roll. You walk into a room and the Wi-Fi signal strengthens. You are the reason iced coffee exists. Every time you say something vaguely passive aggressive, I feel my skin clear and my bank account refresh. You talk like you’re two seconds away from sending a cease-and-desist (ask Kugghgmmme if she knows what that is) to someone’s aura. Spekaing of aura, you're literally aura farming always. I don't even want to be you, I want to be ignored by you. PLEASE step on me. Send me to your NONONO black hole void please I BEG YOU. Let me fight Glowzillas for you.
Anyway. Thank you for your time, your service, and your consistent dedication to sounding bored while being iconic.
My question for you three is this:
If each of you had to swap bodies with one of your family members for 24 hours, who would you switch with, and why? (and why would it not be Kugghgmmme lol)
Thank you, and remember;
your pants are soo watermelon! <3
that's so watermelon: Being Chopped
who’s the smartest: persnickety
That’s so watermelon: boba milk tea
Hello the best watermelon sisters, I just wanted to say that I am a huge fan of you guy, even the true and real fighter and surviver Khloe, I just wanted to say that I love your bootybooty pop juice strawberry soda flavor, and Kourtney I am loving the no, no, no boxes, except for kehm, I went to the store to get a glow glow glow lipgloss for my sisters birthday cause this random person asked me to get one when I was having trouble finding a nice lipgloss, I gave it to my sister for her birthday, and when she put it on, her lips started to burn and they swelled, we had to take her to the hospital and she almost died because of how bad the burns and how big her lips got, I will never trust your products again, and another question my friend used to work for glow glow glo and I haven't seen her since, where has she gone, her name is Rebecca
Hello to you kardasim sisters. I have been a fan of you and all your watermelon adventures for years. I wanted my first comment addressed to the kardasims to be a positive one. BUT, sadly that is not happening. Last week, I went to my local mall in Sim Angeles. While walking inside I passed by a 'Glow Glow Glow' make up stand. I tried to avoid eye contact with the employee there because I'm a BBPJ loyal customer since like forever. So I go on with my shopping and luckily was able to find the newest strawberry soda BBPJ bottle (it was the last one on the shelf, so lucky me!!!). After cashing out, A bizzare masked woman tapped me from behind, she sounded just like KHEM herself. She then asked me "Would you like a sample from our new Glow Glow Glow bootyhole bleaching cream?" I said back "No, sorry I only came here to grab the newest BBPJ flavor but thanks and good luck on your small business". The woman was too stunned then said "WHYYYYYYYY" and she wouldn't stop crying. To stop her from embarrassing herself I took the cream sample and said goodbye. A few days later, I notice that I've run out of my bootyhole bleaching cream. So out of desperation, I decided to apply a small amount of the GGG bootyhole bleaching cream just this one time. I go to sleep, then the next morning my bootyhole was GONE. I'm devastated and want my bootyhole back. I'm never supporting small businesses ever again. So Khloe, please if u happen to own any pics of my bootyhole please send them to me so I can show them to my 'dentist', so he can make me a new one.
Good day Kardasims. Not you Khum. Your ass is deflating and your natural, pre dentist ass is basically concave. You will never find true love and you will die penniless, alone, and ugly.
I was rewatching the paranormal activity video when I noticed something. At 2:59, Khloe says "This spirit better not touch my flawless pantry". But that's not what the subtitles say. They say "father's" instead of "flawless". Maybe the spirit tampered with them. But why father? Unless... Could it be? Was the spirit... The spirit of Robert Kardasim Sr?
Someone must have set him off. And let's not lie, it was probably definitely Khiem. I'm guessing it was Glow Glow Glow related. Maybe in Keauom's dream, he said he wanted to build a successful Glow Glow Glow, and Kium either intentionally unintentionally misheard it like the stupid bitch she is or just lied like the corrupt con she is.
But what were the reasons behind his destructive actions? I think that he wanted to possess Kem and rebuild Glow Glow Glow bigger and better. But it was hard enough getting through from the spirit realm, and Doctor De Nicki Minaj, the attempted exorcism, and the retaliation of Khloe only disoriented and aggravated him. He wanted to get rid of Khloe because he knew she would only try to stop him and just try to destroy Glow Glow Glow altogether(But Khloe is a fighter and survivor, so she probably just crawled away and forgot everything that happened or was never believed). We know he would do anything to succeed, he was a lawyer and businessman after all(A successful one that Keum tries to be).
Why was Kaeum never found though? I think that the spirit was unable to function with an ass like hers and couldn't use a set of organs ruined by orange soda and breathing in Glow Glow Glow. Her body was probably finished off after walking into the Glow Glow Glow HQ after walking in without proper equipment.
Finally, why would Robert strike now? Maybe he heard about the astronomical amount of Glow Glow Glow victims in the afterlife, or maybe he knew and recognised one of the Glow Glow Glow victims in the Podcast Episode 100 voice messages.
These are just theories, but Kim, if this is true, maybe you should seriously consider changing Glow Glow Glow if your own late father is trying to stop you. Love you Khloe and Kourtney. Remember what I said here.
Hello Kardasim siblings, the host of the podcast, the true fighter and survivor Khloe. the skinny legend unbothered queen Kourtney and the most over looked Kardasim, the youngest and only boy...Rob, hopefully one day he can appear on the podcast. Anyway my question is a would you rather, Kourtney would you rather admit that Khloe is the host of the podcast and a fighter and survivor or that Glow Glow Glow is not a scam and is a great product, Kim would you rather admit that Khloe is the host of the podcast and a fighter and survivor or that Glow Glow Glow is a scam and is a awful product, and finally Khloe would you rather admit that you are not the host of the podcast and not the true fighter and survivor or that Glow Glow Glow is not a scam and is a great product?
PS: Love you three- Khloe, Kourtney and Rob..not Kim
Hello to the most watermelon sisters. Unfortunately I have some of the most tragic news I have ever come across. I work as an investigator for the local los simgales paper. Recently, I was asked to investigate kehm’s glow glow glow factory since my boss listens to this podcast and has been made aware of the numerous reports of the products being dangerous and sometimes fatal. When I arrived at the sight, I immediately heard the haunting sounds of screams coming from below me. So I took the stairs down to the basement where I saw a door with a sign next to it saying “VANISH” which shook me to my fighter and survivor core. I cautiously opened the door to find Eliza pancakes with kehm on a leash. I then found out that Eliza was the leader of vanish and has been holding kehm hostage and forcing her to release deadly products since she had a crush on Kanye and was envious of Kim’s relationship and has been seeking revenge on her. I acted out of mere instinctives and had a pool noodle fight with Eliza until kehm was finally free. Kehm and I then took all of the deadly glow glow glow products and threw them into vanish, causing the entire basement and factory to explode. Fortunately, we evacuated every one else except Eliza, leading to the beautiful end of glow glow glow. My question is for Kim. Are you going to make a new product now that you’re free from vanish? You guys are so incredibly lovely and I love all of you. Stay watermelon! #fighterandsurvivorkhloe #unbotheredkourtney #freekim #freerobloxforeveryone #peaceandlove
Senior citizens / old people, so watermelon or so not watermelon?
Bonjour Kardasims. Khloe I love you my queen. This is for Khem.
A few months ago I became unemployed and was attempting to save up every last penny I had so I wouldn’t become homeless… well, that lasted until I woke up to see a transaction of 999$ plus taxes deducted from my account by Kim. I immediately called my bank trying to resolve the issue, but they said they could not do anything, so I knew I had to sue Kim.
I attempted to get in contact with her lawyers only to get no response at all, but a week later I got an email from someone named notkimglow123 that had Kim’s face. The email said “yes I did it. and now, you could do it too with the new glow glow glow confidence masterclass, hosted by Kim Kardasim”
She forced me to buy a course that I could not afford nor wanted, and when I contacted the new and improved hotline for a refund, because it was stated IN THE EMAIL that if I did not want the course, I can get a full refund, but the worker said that “I can’t know if I actually don’t want it until I’ve tried it” then hung up.
Hopeless and depressed, I decided to check the course out. After getting through all the pop-up ads on the site, there was a welcome vid where Kim was riding a horse backwards. She said “welcome to glow glow glow confidence. If you can’t afford to be confidence, I’m going to teach you how to steal it.”
Module 1 was called ‘consequences are cancelled’ where Kim instructed us to practice what she called ‘Konfidence Karma’ where we had to call an ex and make them apologize for OUR behavior. A girl in the class tried it and ended up with a restraining order.
She then doubled down in the second module, called ‘GGG: Being Delusional’ where she said that doubt is a broke mindset, and intrusive thoughts can be overridden by loudly misquoting Beyonce. Kim yelled out: “Middle finger up, facts down, I’m a thesis.” which she then said was a quote from Lemonade. When someone questioned her for being inaccurate, she said to repeat after her while staring in the mirror and say, “I’m not wrong, I’m trendsetting,” then angrily told us to go rob a lemonade stand and call it “confidence training.” We didn’t do it but asked her to teach us how, so she then proceeded to rob a lemonade stand that a 7 year old boy had set up only to get dragged by 2 cops and taken to jail (of course she was bailed out immediately).
The last module before graduation was called “glowing conscience” where we were all mailed gallons of expired glow glow glow products that couldn’t be sold, and were instructed to bathe in them as we repeat some affirmations like “The IRS can’t see me if I run fast enough,” and “a strong woman has at least 70 lawsuits and 5 restraining orders, I must get my numbers up.” By the end, I was left with the stench of dead racoons that did not go away no matter how hard I washed.
We were then mailed a workbook which was completely blank. Upon asking Kim, she said that confidence is when you don’t need instructions, just a good bikini to study in.”
The zoom graduation had no audio, and consisted of Kim lip-syncing to Jam while burning Taylor Swift CDs. Kim then sent us all emails that our diplomas were going to be shipped. She also said they’re alleged, and have no legal weight.
It has been 9 months and the Diploma still hasn’t been shipped when Kim told us it would take 2 weeks… so my question is for Khem: Where is my diploma, bitch? I would also like a refund because after trying the course, I now know I don’t want it because it SUCKED and it did NOTHING to improve my life. Love to Khloe the headbitch in charge and host of the Khloe podcast 💋🍉🩷🩷🩷
Hello Kardasim sisters, Kourtney & Khloe, not Kim. You may remember me from episode 93 where me and a friend used No No No & Booty Booty Pop Juice products to save our other friend who used the Glow Glow Glow BBL Giver, Kim gave the excuse that it was a “Big Baby Lizard” but it said in the instructions & product on the official site, & on Kim’s Simstagram advertisement it was “Brazilian Butt Lift”.
We have been planning our revenge ever since, we got the No No No Dark Web & Hacking Attachment to my No No No Super Mega Deluxe Trillion Dollar Mansion, the version with 5 floors, pool, & a private jet collection and started our search. We found a previous Glow Glow Glow product called The Genius Potion, it can permanently alter someone's brain, obviously since Kim made it, it won't make you super smart it's actually the opposite! We ordered it from a sketchy website, after a week it arrived. We have the equipment & skills to hack inside the Glow Glow Glow factory and successfully take down Kim. But when we did, we saw an army of Glozillas, Mutant Glorillas (Not the rapper), & Vicious Gloraffs, and rooms of workers in dangerous conditions. There was shrines of Kim in every room with people begging and crying on there knees to escape the factory. But what's more disturbing is where this "factory" which looks more like a prison was located, it was 50 miles underground under the main No No No factory! There was also series of tunnels leading to more Vanish & Glow Glow Glow factories, and security rooms with cameras in Kourtney's & Khloe's houses and business! What the fuck? The last thing we saw was Kim herself in her office watching all her workers and laughing like she's the Front Man in the Squid Games.
Kim this isn’t Sim Willy Wonka’s factory, like what the hell is wrong with you? We needed to train and ordered the No No No Karate Dojo & Booty Booty Pop Juice Chemistry Kit made by Khloe herself! Together the 3 of us became black belts & made an arsenal of potions to help this battle. Now it’s on to my questions, Khloe & Kourtney what's your thoughts on the newly discovered malicious tactics Kim is using? Kim when are you gonna stop playing the victim and own up to your crimes? Kim you have 5 business months until we infiltrate your business with the Sim FBI and take you down.
Hey sisters, are you Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah? And will we ever get the Sim version of The Summer I Turned Pretty?
Hello girls… this is a simergency… you might recognize me by my name as the first V.A.N.I.S.H victim, when my mom (Stacy Nancy SimLuis) was given a “promotion” by Keihm where she was then kidnapped and turned into a cockroach.
Recently I was having a sleepover with my friends, and one of them (her name was Rebecca) said she had ordered this new facial treatment by g-… I immediately had a panic attack and fainted hearing that. When I woke up, to my horror, I was too late in preventing her from using it. I looked at the packaging (which was packed in glass and sheet-metal) and after cutting my hands several times trying to get to the product, It read “glow glow glow photosynthesis superficial phacial”.
I asked her to wash it off immediately, but Rebecca said the 7 books of instructions (typical) said it would burn through her skull if she comes in contact with water, and had to keep it on for 24 hours till it penetrates into her brain… I was scared… I knew something was gonna go terribly wrong, so I made her sleep in the basement, locked her up and monitored her through cameras.
Nothing happened, so I assumed everything was fine. BIG MISTAKE—after the 24 hours, 6 minute, and 6.66 second mark per instructions, she was told to wash her face using the GGG industrial-strength welding machinery cleaner cleanser soap that was sold separately, but her face began glowing a fluorescent green and she smelled like a mix of orange soda and shit fertilizer. She said it’s a part of the treatment. So, I knew it definitely penetrated into her brain. I took her to many doctors but none knew what was happening to her.
I had to get to the bottom of it, so I read the instruction books again using the magnifying glass we had to purchase separately. In book 6, chapter 47, I found coordinates written in morse-code, hidden between the page-crack where I had to press hard on the pages to see… I chained Rebecca to a chair for safety, and drove down to the location, which led me to an abandoned warehouse in Orange County. Upon going inside, I heard footsteps, and spotted what looked like Kim… then blank.
I woke up to find that I had suffered a concussion after a book of instructions was thrown on my head. I got up, grabbed it, and quickly ran to my car, opened it and read: “Congrats, you just unlocked the hidden instruction book, which is literally so important. This book is alleged so glow glow glow INC LLC is not liability for YOUR mistakes, and can neither confirm nor deny the existence of this book.” I read further, but this one was filled with horrifying warnings. One of the “instructions” said “Don’t apply the glow glow glow P.S.P (photosynthesis superficial phacial) on your skin if you have pores.”
I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT… I drove home with a pounding headache. I walked in and found... a jungle. The chains had melted. Plants sprouting everywhere. Rebecca was outside, arms wide, glowing green. I screamed, “Rebecca??” She said that she was eating and gathering energy for the great feast… SHE WAS LITERALLY PHOTOSYNTHESIZING. I attempted to flee the fuck out of there to call the cops, but her arms extended, grabbing me and knocking me out.
I woke up upside-down in a house overtaken by vines, pods, and sim-plant hybrids. I broke free and ran into a city now a post-apocalyptic biophilic war zone. Creatures with branches for limbs were chasing sims yelling: “Kim is coming. Repent now!”
I went back to the house I woke up in, and searched for a clue, to then find a woman in the basement—Marleen. She told me I’d been unconscious for 5 months. I asked her why I had not transformed, and she said that she has been feeding me BBPJ pastries every day to prevent the transformation, and had been waiting for me to wake up ever since. Apparently Rebecca had turned into what they called a Floragheist—a sim-flora hybrid, and had spread it like wildfire. They were preparing the city for a great feast and coronation for Kim, so she would be their queen.
They were throwing “Photosynthetic Transformation Parties” where they chug sunlight like it’s protein powder. Marleen snuck us in—It looked like a group ritual. Chanting and singing, I was able to make out a few words; “The queen spawns where VANISH lies. From under the ground her majesty shall rise.” The trees had developed feet and tentacles. They were running around, force-feeding sims the glow glow glow P.S.P to accelerate the change… the city was overrun. I tried calling the cops, but the operator picked up and said: “Mother Kim is coming soon” then hung up…
I told Marleen we needed to escape and leave the city. She said she had gathered enough evidence to expose and shut down glow glow glow and VANISH. I asked her how we were gonna escape, and she showed me two costumes that she had made from NO NO NO D.I.Y boxes to blend in as Floragheists, so we put them on and took the evidence, making our way out.
Billboards of Kim’s face were everywhere, promoting throne-launch products. We overheard a group of Floragheists talking about this new company called ‘VANISH glow.’ Apparently glow glow glow had been raided after tax-fraud, bankruptcy, and international health and safety violations, so to prevent that, Kim merged GGG and VANISH under her mother company, “K.”
At the border checkpoint, guards stopped us. They saw Marleen’s exposé documents and yelled, “Code VANISH.” Tentacled tree-beasts swarmed us. Marleen screamed, “Check the pocket!” I found a hidden knife, cut myself free, tried to save her, but she shoved me away and yelled: “Expose Kim!”
I watched, sobbing, as they force-fed her the P.S.P. It melted into her pores as she growled and transformed into a Floragheist. I grabbed the bags and RAN!!! I walked for days, finally reaching another city. I found a charger, contacted the media, and will be exposing this all over the news!!!
Kim, if you're listening, I hope you're photosynthesizing this message loud and clear: Your empire is about to go DOWN. I'm coming for you, and I have the receipts, bitch!!! 🤬🤬🤬
And to Khloe and Kourtney, RUN. Don’t moisturize. Don’t even wash your faces. I need ya’ll to help me get this story out as fast as possible before the feast!!!
And also Khloe, I wanna thank you, because if it weren’t for your Fighter and Survivor classes that I used to attend daily, I wouldn’t have been able to fight and survive this! And thank you for your amazing BBPJ pastries, as they had saved my life. You are the most watermelon 🍉💗🍉💗🍉😍😍😍
Also Kourtney, thank you for your NO NO NO D.I.Y boxes. They helped me escape… not Marleen though … R.I.P. 🥀
#JusticeForMarleen
#NotRebeccaThoughSheWasAstupidBitch
#OrangeSodaSucks
#ExposeVANISHglow
Hello to not only the funniest but the most watermelon sister Khloe and her two followers, Kortni and Kehm.
Khloe, we are so excited to hear that Simdestiny’s Child was so inspired by your fighter survivorness that they are getting back together for the 25th anniversary of ‘Survivor’ next year. How excited are you that they want you in the music video and NOT Kehm??? KEhm, how do you feel that they’d rather support Booty Booty Pop Juice than Glow Glow Glow? Kortni, what is it like to be best friends with Beyoncé?
We love you Khloe and Kortni and look forward to every episode of the podcast! Stay watermelon 🍉 Kehm, go look at Glow Glow Glow’s 0/5 rating on Better Business SimBureau before you reply to this 😘
Heyyy Kardasim Sisters!
You guys are so watermelon... except Kim. She's more like a grapefruit. Anyway, I have to tell you all about my experience with Glow Glow Glow's new super glowing face mask! I ordered the mask because I suffer from acne and saw an ad saying it instantly gets rid of blemishes and bumps. First of all, the package took THREE MONTHS to arrive, just to be left on my porch in a plastic bag covered in tape. I tried the mask on and I will admit it felt really smooth and comfortable over my face. The instructions clearly said to keep the mask on for 7 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds so I set a timer in case I forgot. I wore the mask to sleep and when I woke up the unimaginable happened. When I removed the mask, ALL of my skin was removed with it. I looked in the mirror and couldn't help but burst into tears. My face literally looks like raw meat. Kim, have contacted my lawyers and you have a BIG storm coming sweetie. You WILL pay for this! Also, orange soda is the WORST soda on planet earth AND the sim world.
P.S Sending love to the smartest sister Kourtney and the fighter and survivor Khloe!
KimGM Productions, so watermelon or so not watermelon?
Dear Kardasims,
I recently made a purchase of Booty Booty Pop Juice ordering the Raspberry Booyah Two Electric Boogaloo flavor, and when my package arrived at my apartment I was surprised to see it in a Go Go Go box. Knowing that BBPJ uses No No No boxes, I was skeptical, but assumed it was a typo in manufacturing. I opened the box to discover instead of a Raspberry Booyah Two Electric Boogaloo, it was an Orange Cheek Crusher flavor and the can had GGG written in sharpie. Knowing that BBPJ would never in a million years make an orange flavor, I suspected Kim was back to her old tricks and swapping out shipments of Khloe's product with her own. I went to throw the box out the window, but tripped over my cat Mike and spilled it all over myself and him. I closed my eyes and braced for impact, knowing that we would probably turn into a Kockroach, but nothing happened. When I opened my eyes, Mike and I were transported into Dimension G. We've been stuck in here for 5 days, and have ran out of food that isn't Glow Glow Glow orange flavored products, which is the WORST flavor imaginable. Khloe and Kourtney if you hear this, I have a base camp between the mountains shaped like massive asses and the skeleton of a Glowzilla, who was killed by Mike who mutated into a Glowbertooth Tiger after licking Kim's Toxic Lip Balm. He's still my boy, but he's been eyeing me a lot lately with hungry eyes, please send help!
Hello Kardasim simsters!
So, I went shopping online because I was desperate to sing golden from simhuntr/x the K-pop simdemon hunters at the Saturday night Karaoke bar. So I went online to see what the fabulous two of you Khloeee and Kourtney (and the not so fabulous anymore or ever Khem) had to offer. I guess I was looking for a voice potion or something to make my voice like SimRumi’s, but I could only find “no no no voice be gone” and “booty booty boom burst” which didn’t sound like products that could give me that. So I regrettably went to the glow glow glow website and after 10 minutes of fighting through pop-ups I found the glow glow glow golden voice potion and I thought I hit the jackpot so I bought it and just before I was gonna sing golden at the karaoke bar I drank the entire potion and when I went to sing I made a deafening noise that turned all those who heard it to pure 24 karat gold. I was terrified and I can’t leave the karaoke bar because I’m still turning people into gold with my voice and I am now the owner of over 100, 24 karat gold sims. Kim I’m going to sell all of them and sue you in their honour with the best lawyers this money can buy. Good luck bitch.
Anyways so my question is, if you guys were simhuntr/x who would be SimZoe, SimMira, and SimRumi?
HELLO SIMSTERSSSSSS Beautiful khloeeee, GAGGY Kourtney, and.. hi Kim… I am currently writing from the hospital due to a glow glow glow orange blossom perfume? Why is there even instructions in perfume? No human can hold there own breath for 4 minutes straight while trying to not be affected by chemical burns from the perfume with 780 pages of instructions.. Anywho KEHM you will be hearing from my lawyer Annalise Simkeating TRUST ME B*TCH I WILL GET YOUR COMPANY DESTROYED! GLOW GLOW GLOW IS FILTH
Hello to the most watermelon Kardasim trio, Khloe, Kourtney, and Rob, even if he's not on the podcast and has the other one, what's her name? Rebecca? Megan? Aimee? Oh right, Kem, in his place. Anyways, I have a question for each of the podcast sisters(including Kem I guess).
For Kourtney, the nonchalant skinny legend, will you ever make a video on the Kardasim or SimGM channel featuring your No No No boxes?
For Kem, the stupid bitch, when are you going to pay me the 3 years worth of profits from the promotional, designing, and production work I did for Glow Glow Glow when it was starting up during my uni years about 8 years ago, plus pay me for emotional costs from manipulating and blackmailing me into staying after I found out what a shithole businesswoman you are(and when I say pay, I don't mean offering me a perfume that was discontinued by the SFDA for having the same properties as a plutonium and uranium nuclear bomb for 50,000 dollars, which might be cheap to you but bear in mind me and my entire family were heavily in debt which is why I took the damn job in the first place) Also, when will you bring back my friends that I know you and vanish kidnapped for testing after I finally managed to quit? Yes I am onto you about that, even if the news says they just ran away on a dare and found their bodies in the river. I looked through their burnt down houses and found remnants of the GGG glitter bombs, and the VANISH uniform/hazmat suits.
For Khloe, the fighter and survivor queen, did you know that Kem stole money, formulas, and trade secrets from Booty Booty Pop Juice when she was just starting out, and even sabotaged some products by mixing in mountain chicken meconium and rabies infected baby yinpterochiroptera saliva?
Bonus: Kris, you were the one that practically guilt tripped me into helping Kem which I was happy for a job as a broke university student but you knew I had no choice but to help your brain dead daughter with her shitty business as a broke university student in the presence of a multimillionaire.
I will be contacting the Kockroach Army and the human/now partially human/non kockroach victims, as lawsuits get you nowhere with Glow Glow fucking Glow.
Keep slaying Kourtney and Khloe! Screw you Kem
who's the smartest turophile
that's so watermelon- submissive men (upvote so Kourtney can see and respond to this)
What's the most important lesson you've learned in life?
Hello fighter and survivor Khloe, the most nonchalant of them all Kourtney, and Khem orange.
I have a question for Meghan. Should I order your cleanser? When I was grocery shopping for my self, I saw a Booty Booty Glow Glow juice (Sparkling edition) on the discounted section.
Because I'm a good person, and I know what happens when you consume/use a Glow Glow Glow product, I bought one to give my fugly, obnoxious, and annoying coworker. When she drank it during our cashier shift, I immediately asked her what she feels. She said she feels fine. A few moments later, while we were both servicing customers, the 4 of us (including the 2 customers) heard air escaping from the juice can. It was kinda like when a wheel has a small hole, and air is escaping from it. Then, smoke came out from the can and it started to violently shake. Out of nowhere, my coworker exploded right in front of us and her insides was glitter. My manager said I need to clean up after the stupid bitch. So I'ma ask again, should I order the GGG cleanser?
Sorry fighter and survivor if this is a bit long. Sending love for the 3 of you from the Simlippines (Philippines).(Yes including Khem, because there's always a dumb one in a trio)
Who's the smartest: ovoviviparous
Hello to the best sisters in the world.
I think i finally understood the mystery that is Glow Glow Glow and its owner, Kimberly Kardasim.
(Who has a lovely voice by the way, only she can bring the house all the way down)
Glow Glow Glow started as this random business (quick cash grab) owned by a simcelibrity like we see a lot these days. (Imagine especially a business owned by Kim, that can only lead to trouble)
But whenever she saw it was failing (leading to multiple bankruptcies filings) she started to lose it and she wanted to protect her stupid business (bless her heart).
I have some reports that shows that VANISH started to appear in conversations at the same time that GGG was initially becoming a failure.
As we all know, Glow Glow Glow is a true danger to society, causing rashes, growing of new limbs, glowzillas and natural catastrophes just to mention a few. And Kim seems to be in denial, constantly accusing her customers to not follow instructions, it seems like she’s held at gunpoint by VANISH to cover up for them.
They probably gave some money to GGG in order for it to survive and to help Kim to not become a flop, but she made a deal with the devil and now she’s stuck, having to defend their atrocities against her will.
Kim we see you, we love you.
(And i love you Kourtney the coolest and smartest person ever and not to forget Khloe, the heart of gold, best fighter and survivor ever.)
#FreeKim #DestroyVANISH #iLoveBootyBootyPopJuice
Food poisoning: so watermelon or so not watermelon
Fake nails: so watermelon or so not watermelon
Making your siblings cry: so watermelon or so not watermelon
Pantyhose: so watermelon or so not watermelon
Crying in the bathroom: so watermelon or so not watermelon
Lifeguards so watermelon or so not watermelon
hi Kourtney and Khloe I would like to ask you guys a very serious question:
As we all know, your stupid bitch of a sister Kim is literally insane. She thinks Glow Glow Glow is successful when really it’s a total bullsh*t, lame-ass excuse for a company. She thinks she’s a businesswoman when she’s really a biochemist and scammer. She thinks she’s the smartest sister when she scores the lowest at Who’s The Smartest. She thinks she never cries when she has cried in literally almost every single podcast episode and in all of your videos. She thinks she can pull off blonde hair when only Khloe and Kris can do it right (Khloe you pull it off the best though). And lastly she also thinks she made That’s So Watermelon popular when video evidence clearly shows that you guys are the ones who did it.
Anyway, my question for you guys is that when did you first know that Kim was a delusional bitch? Were there any warning signs from your childhood or was it in one of the early moments of your channel?
Love you both Khloe and Kourtney, and Kim f*ck you
Exaggeration: so watermelon or so not watermelon
Fighting SimZA on Twitter. So watermelon or so not watermelon
Hello all three Kardasim sisters, Boring, Evil and Intimidating Blond Demon, and the most gorgeous, smart and watermelon person in the world, Kim.I recently bought the new 24k gold, LaGlowGlow, and it's the most amazing thing ever. I'm forever grateful for this doll, it saved my life.I was working at the Orange Orange Fan Club (Unofficial Kim Fanclub) until a tall blonde woman walked in. She call me a stupid bitch and attacked me. I tried to defend myself, but she throw Booty Booty Poop Juice at my eyes. Thankfully, my obviously not radioactive mutant LaGlowGlow help me. The LaGlowGlow attacked the blond demon shooting lasers flom it eyes and popped the blond demon big fat ass. The blond woman fell from a window to a car.
Kim, I'm forever grateful for your beautiful and genius mind. You are THE watermelon. #LaGlowGlow #ARTPOP #KIMITSMYQUEEN #ORANGEORANGEFANCLUB
Hey sisters, will we ever get to see the original music video for the merch song? Or a reproduction? #Kourtney'sSongIsNotABop #KimIsTheBestVoiceOfTheSisters #TurnItUp #TaylorIsStillMyFavoriteSinger #Khloe'sVoiceIsAggressive
Hi sisters, can you do an highlight of the Glowzilla's appearance in the podcast (episode 63)? Love from France. You're all so watermelon🍉🍉🍉
Heyyy Khloe and Kourtney! Hope you guys are having a great day!
This is for Kim Kardasim:
Dear Kim,
Please shut your ass up. You need to stop talking about your dumbass failing business. It’s dumb, it’s ass, and it’s failing. No matter what you say it will never change that. Ever since 2018 when this podcast started… or 1932 when you were born— you have always been an annoying and delusional stupid bitch, not only with your company but with your entire being. No wonder your sisters have more of everything you don’t. Money, fame, personality, and more. Girl even KRIS has more than you have to offer in a lifetime, so just stop. Get off that lumpy flipped implant filled ass of yours and become a person of value. Omg and your lawyer degree??? Girl don’t get me started. You really did slip through the cracks somehow. You’re proof anyone and EVERYONE can do anything even with their limited knowledge and skill. And before you cry, get a mason jar and collect your tears for me. I’ll pay more money for it than you LOST from Glow Glow Glow. And that’s saying a lot, sis.
…
Anyways, guys what’s your favorite Sim restaurant to eat at! bye bye! :D ❤️
#loveYallSOmuch
Pyramids: so watermelon or so not watermelon?