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EPISODE 108 - ASK THE KARDASIMS
EPISODE 108 - ASK THE KARDASIMS
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Hello to the Fighter and Survivor Khloe and the unbothered Queen Kourtney... oh, hi Kim. Or should I say KHEM?! This is my first time writing into the Kardasim podcast and I need help NOW.
My mom recently bought the Glow Glow Glow No-Sugar, No-Calorie, No-Carb, No-Fat Vitamin Tablets when she saw an ad of Kim claiming that it could reverse aging. Since I've listened to the Kardasim podcast since Episode 1, when I saw the package, I tried to warn her about Glow Glow Glow's dangerous products. I told her to instead buy the Booty Booty Pop Juice Vitamin Chewies, but she refused to listen to me.
She read all 10 instruction manuals, 4,873 pages each, travelled to El SimDorado and attended the 12 hour workshop at Kim's house to learn how to use the product. According to my mom, Kim specifically said that the tablets should be taken 3 times a day before meals. She also had her sign an NDA. Feeling confident, my mom began taking them, exactly as the instructions said, with her water. She seemed fine for a month but on the next full moon, SHE TRANSFORMED INTO A WEREGLOWOLF. She terrorised and wreaked havoc in the country. It's chaos out there. All the weapons that were made to use against the Glowzillas aren't working on her.
I bought the La-a La-a La-a (No No No in Arabic) Werewolf Containment Bunker box and tried to put my mother inside for her own safety multiple times but, whatever Kim put in her product made her too strong for it and she kept escaping the box.
I also decided to read over the instruction manuals because Kim has a tendency to purposely leave out very important details. In the very last page of the 10th book, written in code in invisible ink, it says 'Only to be consumed with orange soda'. HOW DARE YOU, KIM?! My mother is allergic to orange soda and prefers to drink water! That should've been the first thing customers read in your dumb instructions!
Khloe and Kourtney, can you send me Kim's address so I can beat her ass and slap her with a lawsuit for what she has done to my mother? For Kim, how do I return my mother back to normal, you stupid bitch? You ruined her life!!! You better watch out 'cause I'm coming for you!
Lots of Love to Kourtney and Khloe from Bahrain. #DownwithGlowGlowGlow